Sadomasochism. Patterns and Intentions

The topic described in the article from the weekly Angora (issue 14/2014) falls within the scope of relationship dynamics and burdens discussed in other articles on the MINW website. Related patterns are discussed more broadly in topics such as:

• Praying mantis women and the tarantula spider Link
• Adult Children of Alcoholics Link.
• Deities of tantric sexuality Link
• Prostitution in the context of pimp–prostitute relationships Link
• Celibacy, lack of female orgasm, and prostitution Link
• “Boys in Tights” – patterns of military homosexual burdens Link(karma of the Soul), related to aversion arising from treatment by the opposite sex and the resulting escape into same-sex relations

“Flight with a Whip”

Sadomasochism is not included in personality disorder classifications such as DSM-IV (just as homosexuality is not). It used to be, but it was removed partly because it could be used to justify domestic violence.
“He beats his wife – therefore he is sick. She accepts it – therefore she is disordered, so it’s illness, not abuse. And what role does the law play then?”

In the American series Secret Diary of a Call Girl, an experienced dominatrix receives an apprentice who wants to learn the craft. A middle-aged university professor is already in the room.

“Position number three, dog,” orders the dominatrix.
“Yes, ma’am,” replies the professor, already naked, wearing a collar, dropping to the floor.

The dominatrix steps on his chest with high-heeled shoes while he groans.
“Be quiet, dog.”
“Yes, ma’am.”

She orders him to lick her boots and clean a toilet with his tongue.

The apprentice tries to prove herself and lashes the professor with a whip.
“Red, red!” he shouts—meaning too intense. Earlier he had asked for “green,” meaning moderate intensity.

Participants usually agree in advance on limits—how far physical or psychological practices can go, whether to draw blood, etc. For some, even ritual and repetition are arousing, though improvisation is allowed.

One submissive advises whipping with fresh nettles for a stronger experience.

The professor eventually resists:
“You were great,” he tells the apprentice, “but I don’t want marks.”

A professional dominatrix would punish him for disobedience—because what matters is not his condition, but her authority. The rules must be maintained.

Some submissives deliberately disobey to receive harsher punishment, even begging forgiveness—if not gagged or silenced.

The Role of the Dominatrix

It is not easy to be a dominatrix. A timid, insecure person would fail in that role. Experienced submissives can distinguish between a passionate professional and an amateur seeking only money.

High-level dominatrices require skill, experience, personality, and knowledge. Training may include apprenticeships, courses, or even specialized institutions.

Professionalism is important to avoid physical harm. For example, striking certain body areas requires precision. There have been cases of serious injury.

Despite the risks, participants often push limits, driven by intense sensations.

Without Sex

Sadomasochism is most developed in cities like Bytom and other large urban areas.

An advertisement from Bytom:
“We are experienced dominatrices who enjoy disciplining disobedient males… We find passion and satisfaction in domination. Sex excluded. Price: 200 PLN per hour.”

A “true” dominatrix does not engage in sexual intercourse. Those who do are considered pseudo-dominatrices.

They typically wear leather, latex, metal accessories, high heels. In medical-themed sessions, nurse-like elements may appear.

A true dominatrix may deny a submissive climax during sessions.

She is not interested in emotional confessions; those belong elsewhere.

Exclusivity

The submissive is expected to be devoted to one dominant partner. Some express loyalty through tattoos or wearing chastity devices controlled by the dominatrix.

Such devices may be worn continuously, sometimes for days.

Practices and Roles

Common practices include:

• Bondage (binding, suspension)
• Foot-related acts
• Power dynamics between dominant and submissive roles
• Variants involving both men and women

Women may also take submissive roles (“suki”), while dominant men (“masters”) apply similar dynamics.

Relationships and Psychology

According to sexologist Dr. Andrzej Depko, if both partners consent and derive satisfaction, it is not considered a disorder.

Such relationships can be stable unless one partner demands escalation that the other rejects.

Conflicts arise when one partner feels discomfort or fear.

Origins of Sadomasochism

The term “masochism” was introduced by Krafft-Ebing in 1896 to describe men unable to engage sexually without humiliation or pain.

Sadomasochism appears across cultures and eras.

Clients are often educated individuals who rationalize their preferences.

Others practice self-inflicted forms, sometimes with guilt.

From a psychological perspective:

• Masochism: tendency to place oneself in inferior roles, self-blame, deriving meaning from suffering
• Sadism (per Fromm): desire for absolute control and dominance, often compensating for lack of power in other areas

These traits are not always sexual; they may appear in behavior, relationships, or personality patterns.

Possible Origins

The origins are unclear. They may include:

• Biological predispositions
• Early childhood experiences
• Learned associations between pain and reward
• Conditioning (e.g., attention received through suffering)

Some patterns become deeply ingrained and persist into adulthood.

Author: Barbara Pietkiewicz (Polityka)

Comment

A remark suggests that sadomasochism may originate from early childhood experiences, such as improper care in infancy—though this reflects anecdotal opinion rather than scientific consensus.

Opublikowano: 08/04/2026
Autor: Sławomir Majda
Kateogrie: Suffering of Body and Soul - Transfigurers of Suffering. Liberating Prayers.

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